Not Yet

“I’ve been here. Take care always. I love you. I have, I do and I always will.”

This note on the cover of my book has been keeping me thinking about it all morning. It was a part of a longer note, the lower part was torn. I just left my book for barely five minutes to attend to something and when I came back, the note was there. No one else was in the room except me.

I was absentmindedly staring at it while I was in the canteen with my friends. Good thing they didn’t see the note because I hid it just on time when one of my friends looked at me. Who wrote this? And where’s the other half?

I was walking my way home, I didn’t really notice how my day passed by so quickly. Thanks to the note that has been occupying my thoughts all day long. 

I stepped on the sidewalk waiting for the chance to cross the street. The light was still red so I decided to take a glance at the note one more time. I didn’t notice exactly how long I was staring at it but when I saw the light again, it was already green. I hurriedly crossed the street when suddenly on my second step, the light turned red, there was ear-deafening honks from somewhere near me and everything went black. 

I was lying on the street, a part of my head searing with pain. I couldn’t move any part of my body. I tried to open my eyes. Luckily, they obeyed.

I saw my book and bag a few inches from my outstretched hand. Someone was running towards me. He first got my bag then my book and rushed toward me. 

My vision was a bit blurry but I couldn’t be mistaking. I knew that face by heart. It was him.
He was my fairytale. Everything but the happy ending. Back then, I was afraid that he’d find someone new. And he did. I got left behind. Fairy tale’s over.

Despite the pain in my head, I suddenly realized that it was already five years since my fairytale mishap. He already had two relationships since then. As for me, still single and “waiting” for another prince to commit a mistake. But not a single one passed my way. I guess they already changed routes.
The worry in his face was so genuine. I could just stare at him forever. 

He tried to carry me but the pain in my head intensified. It must have reflected on my face because he settled me down again. He started to get his phone to call for help, without removing his worried eyes from me all this time.

He looked at me straight in the eyes. I missed that look. I turned my stare to my book in his arm. He stared at it too. Though I don’t know who wrote that, that’s exactly what I want to tell you. 
He read the note. I closed my eyes because the pain was so unbearable. It was crippling my thoughts and all I could think of was the pain. I tried to open my eyes again. This time, they refused to obey. 

***
Matt couldn’t believe it’s been one year since Denise passed away. He got the note on her book and posted it on the wall of his room. But this time, it was complete.

“I’ve wanted to talk to you
But I couldn’t find the right words to say.
I know it was my mistake.
You didn’t deserve that.
I gave you this note hoping that it’s not yet to late… for us.”

Matt


- MVJLO 03122010